Tips for Moms Raising Confident and Competent Daughters

Danish mother kissing daughter b&w
Photo Andreas|CC

Mothers are their daughter’s best role model of womanhood, but raising girls and finding common ground can often be a difficult process. Build a relationship with your daughter built on respectful communication.

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Tips for Raising Girls and Building Self-Esteem in Daughters

Try these positive communication tips to nurture your mother-daughter bond and help her develop into a confident and competent young woman.

1. Remember the Mother Mantra: “I am not my daughter, and I don’t know it all, but I can learn more as I listen. I am my daughter’s most important role model for life as a woman.”

You are your daughter’s most important role model for life as a woman.

2. Listen. Listen. Listen.

3. Hold the advice. When she brings a problem or issue to you, rather than launching into, “You should…” or “Why don’t you…” (with a list of problem-solving suggestions), instead, start with “What do you think you can do about that?” or “You are feeling angry” or “How can I help you?”

4. Share your experience, wisdom, and history. Let your daughter know that you have some wisdom about what it is like as a growing female because you have lived it, and make it real by sharing your history. Then listen to her stories and expect them to be different from yours.

5. Understand your own temperament and personality. Understand your daughter’s and then find the fit between the two. She may be out-going, you may be more quiet, or vice a versa. Build a relationship built on respecting the innate differences between your personalities.

6. Model core values. Take every opportunity to share what you believe in and your moral views with your daughter, even if you disagree. Respect that she may hold different views, but teach her to respect yours and the views of others.

7. Establish rules and limits, and work to be on the same page as your partner. Respect the father-daughter bond, but coordinate as parents.

8. Encourage your daughter to take risks and to be a leader. Praise her for these skills. Building self-esteem takes time.

9. Think about your own behavior, personal decisions, and values. Your daughter will model what she sees in you.

10. Even after a bad-connection-day, go to her room, say goodnight, and mean it!
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