Everyone asks, ‘Are you going to try for a boy?’ The desire to raise a son or daughter is a powerful dream. And, it certainly doesn’t hurt to try gender selection, or does it?
This article discusses some pitfalls and myths of gender selection, why women (and men) believe these myths and bogus product claims, and some emotional considerations that women should consider before pursuing their gender selection dreams.
What To Do When You Want a Girl, or Want a Boy
- Gender dreams are a real hope. Don’t be ashamed to want a specific gender.
- Don’t be blinded by ‘group think.’ Just because something ‘worked’ for all your friends and family, does not mean it’s a scientifically valid gender selection method. 50% of them will be right, and the other 50% won’t admit they were wrong!
- Don’t let your gender hopes cloud your good judgement. Lunar months, tight underwear, and cranberry juice — Really? You can believe the folklore, but remember, it’s fun entertainment, not real science.
- Accept the odds. There will always be a 50:50 chance of getting each gender. That’s the way nature is designed, and no matter what natural selection method you attempt, the odds for a boy, or girl, will still be 50:50.
- Know your options. There are very expensive, and medically invasive, procedures which can guarantee a specific gender. Read More…How to Choose the Gender of Your Baby. Women should research and understand these options, and have access to them. There are choices.
- Consider adoption. There are many children throughout the world who need a good home, and family to love them. Open your heart and home to a little boy, or a little girl, who may need you.
- Love what you get. All children deserve to be loved for who they are, not for their gender. Forget pink and blue, and embrace the green, yellow, purple variations of all the diversity in the world. Boyhood is a spectrum of diversity, and so is girlhood. It’s not fair to make them pink and blue.
DON’T LET GENDER Dreams For a Boy or Girl CLOUD YOUR GOOD JUDGEMENT.
It Doesn’t Hurt to Try Gender Selection, Does It?
Many women think it can’t hurt to try a natural gender selection method. But here are a few things to think about:
Things to Consider Before Attempting Gender Selection
- The Blame Game: When you attempt a gender selection method, and then get the opposite gender, there is a tendency to blame each spouse. Did you really eat enough cranberries? Did you really time sex correctly? Did your husband pull-out too soon? These blame and shame scenarios can tarnish a relationship. When you set your expectations on a certain gender and method, keep your eye on the important prize: A healthy and loving family. Be careful about the blame game!
- The ‘Unwanted’ Child: When you get the gender you did not ‘want’, and all your friends and family ‘know it’, what does that mean for your newborn baby? Knowing you douched away the ‘bad sperm’, or sorted out the ‘good ones’, sets you up for self-shame, knowing you now have to raise a child you intentionally tried to avoid. While it’s ok to hope and to want a specific gender, this unwanted scenario is often difficult for both mother, and child, to live with.
- Ethics and Religion: Many cultures and religions shame women. There are cultures which favor boys, and cultures which favor girls. Stand up for what you believe and your faith — gender selection is a real choice, and a choice between a woman and her own religious beliefs.
- Cost: Children, of any gender, are expensive. A woman must consider the financial impact of not only the potential gender selection costs, but also of the overall financial impact to her family with regards to raising another child.
- Gender Disappointment: Living with disappointment and sadness when your gender dreams fade away is something many women must cope with. It’s a REAL sadness, and you should never feel ashamed of how you feel. Finding a supportive group of friends and family, and finding ways to cope are critical.
Gender Selection Myths (And Why People Believe Them)
#1 Myth: You can sway the odds toward having either a girl or boy.
The reality is absolutely NO natural gender selection works, not even a little bit. Read more at…Myths of Natural Gender Selection: The Sperm Race to Nowhere
For every Shettles Method success, there is a Shettles Method disappointment.
However the desire to have a son or daughter is such a powerful dream, every mom and dad HOPES, and WANTS to believe. Sadly, 50% of women will experience gender disappointment by following these natural gender selection methods.
#2 Myth: Boy sperm swim faster.
Men like to think their little boy swimmers are faster than their little girl swimmers. That’s sexism, not science.
What is true is that Y sperm do have 2.8% less DNA. That means they are every-so-slightly lighter, though certainly by no means ‘faster.’ You could even argue that the extra DNA gives those girl sperm a speed edge!
#3 Myth: Girl sperm do better in the acidic uterine environment and cervical mucus.
Men like to think that women must favor little girls; hence, a woman’s uterus favors the girls to survive. Again, sexism, not science.
What is true is that the uterine environment is harsh for ALL sperm. This is a natural biological mechanism for preventing infection in women, but absolutely, by no means, ‘favoritism’ of the female uterus for girl sperm. There is no physiological difference between X and Y bearing sperm.
#4 Myth: Sexual position and orgasm can sway the odds for either a girl or a boy.
Men like to think that powerful, rough sex, favors boys. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE Men like to think that a female orgasm favors boys, too. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE.
Use common sense here, ladies. Any woman who has experienced the power of a male ejaculation knows very well that you can’t aim or control where those 250,000,000 million sperm are going to go. There’s no boy or girl swaying there; just, yet again, a male-centric myth.
#5 Myth: Timing of intercourse can impact whether you have a boy or a girl.
This gets to the myth of girl sperm being ‘inferior’ swimmers, yet supposedly strong ‘survivors.’ Neither is true scientifically.
Gender Determination is Not a Girls VS. Boys Sperm Survival Race
Bogus Products for Gender Selection
Since women believe the above myths, many products have evolved to falsely promote the real hope that these women have for either a girl or a boy.
1. GenSelect Kit
A prenatal vitamin kit, with a thermometer for tracking ovulation, and instructions. This is basically Shettles Method (see below), but expensive. The company offers a money-back guarantee, but will that really matter when you are raising a baby?
2. Lydia Pinkham Fertility Treatment
Developed in 1885, and marketed as ‘a baby in every bottle’, many online forums ‘just swear’ that this fertility treatment will sway towards conceiving a girl. It’s cheap, and available at Walgreens, CVS, and Amazon. And NOPE, it has absolutely nothing to do with swaying the odds towards a girl or a boy.
3. Shettles Method, the Ericsson Method, the Diet Method, etc. etc. etc.
There are no physiological differences between X bearing sperm, and Y bearing sperm. All these techniques aim to separate faster-swimming, boy-producing sperm from slower-swimming, girl-producing sperm. Simply, not true. But yes, about 50% of your friends and the online forums will absolutely claim otherwise!
Sorry, we know you want to believe, but there really is no science here. Despite decades of research, natural gender selection methods do not work — and even if you wanted to believe they do, there are >250,000,000 sperm, and only 1 egg. The odds are not in your favor.